Laid off from a job you loved: was it ever really happy work?

When a listener gets laid off from a job they thought they loved, it raises a deeper question: was it ever truly happy work to begin with? Olivier unpacks the critical difference between happiness and joy — why one is a baseline you own and the other is a reaction to things outside of you. If losing a job leaves you lost and questioning everything, that's a sign your happiness was outsourced. Real happy work can't be taken from you — it lives in you, not in the title or the paycheck. A powerful conversation about ownership, self-responsibility, and what it truly means to bring yourself into your work.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I'm your host, Olivier, and this is the Do Happy Work Podcast, where we look at work in a different, more natural, and more peaceful way. Welcome back to the Do Happy Work Podcast. I'm Olivier, your voice of nature in business. We would like to investigate a question that we got asked during the week.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

This person reaches out and says, I thought I was doing happy work. I thought I was doing work that I loved. I got laid off. And now I'm just questioning, was I even doing happy work?

SPEAKER_00 0:31

So the question is: if what you really loved doing and now it's gone, was it even happy work? And where do you go from there?

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Where do you go from there? I think that's ultimately the question they're asking.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Yeah. And I I heard that before many times in different shapes and forms and sizes because it's the old confusion of do what you love and love what you do. And this is actually a question I think I get probably every week or every other week from someone who thinks that happy work is when we have a job or a business that gives us something. When we find something and we do happy work. This person is obviously frustrated because they found some kind of a certain level of satisfaction or a certain level of contentment, which is very easy to confuse with happiness. We find comfort, we find uh we find safety, we find a safe harbor in work. Now the the tendency is to project all our understanding of happiness into that thing, and and we then hold on to it for dear life, thinking that since I really like having this, since I really love doing this, this is my happy work. That's projecting a misunderstanding about happiness onto a thing. And I think the fact that this person is frustrated and is questioning happiness after this event shows that it was never really happiness.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

That makes a lot of sense because it made me think, you know, this person obviously had a job, but let's take an a business owner that was they think we're doing happy work and they have to shut the business down. And they're like, I thought, I thought I was, you know, they say passion, everything's so interchangeable. I thought I was doing happy work, I thought I was happy, I thought I was following my passion. So you're saying that with this projection, like that idea of like you're in the world, not of the world, you're you're really shifting something and putting all your eggs in that basket to give you some sort of fulfillment.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Yeah. Yeah, it's well, the thing is that I don't want to sound I don't want to sound demeaning. Like, of course, there's value in a in a job that we like doing, but we also have to ask ourselves, that job, did it really touch us? That business that we had, that we're forced to close, and there are a lot of them closing right now, right? Mom, pop shops, smaller businesses that have a hard time navigating the economic restraints that we're facing. If they have to close after 15-20 years, they they of course they ask the question like, why me? Why would that happen to me? But it's a chance for introspection. I'm not saying that none of these people were doing happy work. I'm just saying that in most cases it is an opportunity to actually ask yourself, was it happy work? Was I supposed to continue with that? Was I supposed to stop and not really take a hard look? Because look at that. When when you get fired, when you lose a job, or when you somehow fall out of a job, most of the time we speak of it as a crisis. We speak of it as a crisis in a negative sense, in a sense of like, oh no, we've we've lost something, right? We mourn, we grieve. But we don't see with the perspective of opportunity that maybe there's something with which we vibrate and resonate much more, that's around the corner. We're supposed to move forward, we're supposed to now step out and forward and up towards something of real value. Because I question anybody who's unsure if the work that they did was happy work, if they actually did happy work, because when you really do happy work, you resonate with it. You I'm not saying that you fight for the job to keep it, but you understand that what you did is what you're supposed to be doing, and you will take that immediately and put it into another context. Instead, most people who get fired or lose their job, they're lost. They're lost, they're in limbo, and they ask the big question, what now? And and once you've done happy work, that question doesn't surface anymore. As long as you don't do what you innately love, what innately resonates with you, you will always ask yourself, is this happy work? Am I happy? Is this really what I'm supposed to be doing? But up until then, up until you really realize, oh my god, this is work that really represents me, up until then you represent the work. So, what I mean is there's this saying by uh Pablo Picasso where he he uh accused the world of art of not presenting themselves, but rather representing the world, which is a little bit like what you said to be in the world or off the world off the world. When we don't do happy work, we are off the world, which means that we do work that satisfies us. When we do happy work, we are in the world, we present ourselves, and there's no question about happiness to be had anymore. I as a matter of fact, I actually suspect that this person and ask this question found moments of joy and satisfaction in their work, but never an underlying sense of happiness. In nature, everything is acts in fulfillment, everything is full of itself. And I don't mean that in in as an as an insult.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

I think you actually just use it perfectly. It is full of itself.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

It's full of itself. And when you're full of yourself, then the work that you do is full of you.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

It's not about selfishness, but it is, but it isn't.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

But I mean it is it is about it is about it's centered around your light. But it's not just for you. It's centered on you, it's built around you, but then happy work is about expressing it.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

The expression of it, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

But the world confuses that kind of work with work that satisfies them, that pays them well, that takes care of them, that brings them joy.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

I want to highlight something that you said that all of us have felt. You mentioned you might have felt moments of joy, but there's a difference between having a moment of joy and having your default setting be happy work. That's really what you're getting at. And I I think it's important for whoever's listening right now to understand, like, really reflect on that. The moment of joy is wonderful, but is it your default setting?

SPEAKER_00 7:58

I will just say that happiness is not an emotion. We we think of happiness as smiley faces and laughing, tapping on each other's back, feeling, you know, feeling great about something. But happiness is without object. Happiness does not need something to be happy about. That's what emotions do. Emotions that are connected to actions, to interactions and to things like that. But happiness is without object, it's non-reflexive, which means that it just is. You're happy or not. Happy is uh kind of like as the energy of peace. But joy requires a reason. You're joyful because you got a promotion, you're joyful because you just got a raise, uh, you got your paycheck, because you uh you pitched an idea and it was accepted, the client said yes, uh, instead of three, you know, instead of another rejection, you got an approval. That's joy, that's not happiness. But the world tells us that that's happiness. So we we have this very flat, very superficial uh understanding of happiness that we project on work. And now, of course, we say that happy work is the kind of work that gives you those moments, those spurs of joy. Yeah, happy work is hard. Happy work is genuine, it's honest, it's authentic, it's bringing yourself into the world through effort, through resilience, through difficult and dark lessons, creating value no one else would, finding a way to do more of it, better, to be more efficient. None of which guarantees you constant moments of joy. But the thing is just that's the difference. You own that happiness. That's what happy work is about. You own that work, but when you expect the world to give you joy through your work, then the world and that work owns you. Which is exactly why this person is frustrated that they don't have that job anymore. Since they relied on that job for their happiness and it was taken away, that leaves them with nothing. But if you do happy work, you own that work, it cannot be taken away from you technically. Even if you get fired, you still have that work in you. You just take that work and you plant it into a new context, as I've said before, just like a seed. Your seed is yours, you take it with you and you plant it in a different part of the garden. We recently released my father's book, The Lola Principle. After 30 years, for the first time it's available in English language in the US, and we're so excited. It's a book that's so fit for the times, it's so important. Head over to thelola principle.com and check it out.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

We always go back to nature. And in nature, we also forget that the tree isn't abundant all year round. It gives when it's meant to give, and then it doesn't. So why the hell would we expect that I can always give happy work or express happy work forever? I think that's also like it's okay to say the time has come, this is at an end, it's time to do the happy work somewhere else.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Yeah, the the cyclical nature of rise and fall, or like spring and fall, is very important. It's true. We we but see, but that's the thing. I think that when you have a mentality, so when you have shifted your consciousness to peace, which means that you're now embracing happiness yourself as the sole creator of happiness, you understand the cyclical nature of everything. You understand that your happiness is not dependent on it being summer or it being spring. You understand that there's happiness to be felt in everything. But when you don't have that, you cling on to the things that bring you joy. And that's dangerous because yeah, it makes you think that you have to constantly win, you have to constantly reap, you have to constantly harvest. Happy work is about constantly growing, growing, growing. It's not true. Happy work is not at all about constantly growing, it is about your advancement, it is about your expression, it is about your expansion, but it is not about growing in numbers, which is the joy aspect of the ego. I actually think that joy is a very intellectual process. It's input-output. The input is good, the output is joy, right? And we show it. But happiness is an intuition, intuitive thing. It does not depend on triggers, it only depends on honesty, of expression. So the tree is not happy or sad about it being winter, it understands it as part of everything, of the process of cleansing, of learning, of respite and right, and rest. But for us who don't know what happy work is, the light has to always be on. It always has to be summer, it constantly has to be sunny, and that's why we have this issue where we're thinking positive and negative as good and bad. Happy work is not positive, and happy work is not negative. Happy work is positive and negative, and negative and positive. It embraces both sides. But this person that feels like they are at an end because they got fired, they see this now as the beginning of the dark times, the beginning of the negative times, the beginning of darkness. Because they have outsourced themselves, because they don't own their happiness, because they have put, as you said, all the eggs in one basket, and that basket fired, thrown out the window. Well, what's the responsibility in that? Happy work is your responsibility. We think that it's our boss's responsibilities, the leaders, the companies. No, it's yours. It's only your responsibility. You you apply somewhere, you you you ask for an interview. That's where you go to present yourself because you believe that you will be able to bring your happy work in the context of this business. That is your responsibility. You think that responsibility disappears just because you get hired? Now you it's not me anymore, now it's just up to them. Since they are paying me, since they want my workforce, they are now responsible for my happiness. It's bullshit. You're still very much responsible, even though you have a leader that guides you and you know a motherhouse that pays for you. They're just paying in resonance of your happy work to pay for your happy work. And so in the end, there's so much to this question, right? There's so much. It's this inward versus outward, this being this bringing yourself into the world rather than letting the world tell you what you're supposed to bring into the world. It's this contract of saying, like, I choose myself first so I can bring myself into the world in honesty, that's what will also bring joy. Because I'm not saying that happy work has no joy, on the contrary, if happiness is your baseline and you create with happiness out of honesty, because you know this is your light and you're sharing your light. Seeing seeing yourself do that and seeing how the world responds to that, of course that's gonna create moments of joy more and more. But that's just what happens from it. It's not why we do it, it's not the thing. You know, it's it's it's like in a in a real real relationship where two people really want to be together. The last thing a couple should do is make their own happiness dependent on the other person. You don't outsource your happiness, you don't give it into into the hand of the other person. I know it sounds very romantic, it sounds so selfless. It's actually bullshit, it's very egotistical to give all that responsibility to another person and make that person responsible for it.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

It's actually kind of rude.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

It is very rude. Yeah, I think I agree. And it's wrong. Because now what happens if this person dies, gets sick, moves away?

SPEAKER_01 16:55

It's entitlement. Yeah, it's your responsibility, it's your responsibility. You are your own person. You you decide your happiness baseline.

SPEAKER_00 17:04

It's you, and and this is why I also feel like you don't don't apply. I mean, you can of course, but don't apply for a job if you're broken. If you don't know yourself and you're in your 40s, 50s, and you go looking for for a safety line, looking for, you know, grasping for straws, if that's your attitude with which you go, no matter how perfect your CV is, you're gonna enter a toxic relationship.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

Yeah, and especially I would say if you're applying for a leadership role where you're going to be managing people and you're broken.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Yeah, it's like you shouldn't do it. You shouldn't date if you're broken. If you damaged goods, you know, I have I've not been in a dating game for a long time, but I know from observation and from way back then, if you're damaged goods and you enter into a relationship, be it a professional or a private one, well, you now bring that energy into it, and now you cling. Now you cling and now you become desperate. And what you do, instead of like you know, growing together, you're growing apart.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

Yeah. So you cling and push up away. It's it's just forces that really you don't need.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

It's action-reaction. The more you cling, the more it pushes away. And this is probably enclosing, you know, to close close out this this answer, this long answer to this uh very irrelevant question is this person potentially was very clingy with their job, very hopeful, very, very aware of the potential of the disastrous potential of losing that job. And this kind of despair manifests as energy, like a desperate person in a relationship. That's not happy work. Happy work is flow. In happy work, there's no worry because we know we are in our zone. We are giving exactly what we are designed to give. You know, this is this is it's a difficult one, of course. Yeah, but remember this just like in good movies or in good books, the story of life always happens on two layers. There's the plot, it's the obvious one. Yeah, it's what we see, it's what we talk about. And then there's the subtext. There is the actual essence underneath. So happiness is the essence. The plot on top, happy moments, friendly exchanges, smiley faces, promotions, they're nice, but it's just the plot. That's just the car chases and all that. What we need is the substance. Happy work is the substance.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Well, I'm really grateful to the folks that reach out to us and give us, keep sending us these questions.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Keep sending those questions.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

Because we want to have conversations that are relevant to you and your life in creating, expressing, doing happy work.